


no light

by asexuelf



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Depression, Drabble, M/M, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 11:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20994248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexuelf/pseuds/asexuelf
Summary: "You asked me once if I ever considered taking my own life."





	no light

**Author's Note:**

> i've been feeling pretty crap lately, can you tell? :'D

"You asked me once if I ever considered taking my own life." Anders' chest is warm under his cheek, though it grows still as if frozen at his words. The mage's arms grow tighter around him - not to become restrictive, but to become sure that he is there. That he's safe. "I'm not sure if it counts, but… I think of returning to him sometimes."

"Why?" He sounds horrified, and Fenris rather feels the same.

"I cannot say. Life in that place, life with him," Throat growing tight, Fenris can only whisper. "It was torture. It was no life. But perhaps that's the weight of it right there - _ it was no life_."

"Sometimes your brain tricks you into thinking that's a freedom in and of itself. That suffering can only end one way... I understand."

_ I don't know that you do_, he wants to say, but bites his tongue. He has heard Anders' tales enough now, watched him grow still and hide his flinches enough, to know that understanding can come from more than one direction.

Fenris sighs into the heat of his mage's skin. Some part of him rationalizes that this melancholy would pass if he only let it. If he buried himself in his reading or his friends or even his wine, things would grow simpler. Less painful.

But this ache in him is stronger at the moment. Too strong to fight. Too strong to do anything but curl on top of his mage in their bed.

"Tell me about something," he murmurs. His lips stick against Anders' dry skin. "Tell me one of your Grey Warden tales."

But when he looks up, Anders has already fallen asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! don't be afraid to leave a comment - misery loves company!


End file.
